I haven't written a blog in a number of years. Mainly because whenever I wrote a blog, I wrote because of my mental illness. There used to be a lot of posts here. They were all from a girl I barely recognise, but she is back for a visit. Out of probable embarrassment I have deleted said blogs. However the haunting realisation I still have issues remains.

I'm now 26 years old and a lone parent to a 6 year old. I was officially disagnosed with fibromyalgia last year after many hospital trips with pain, I previously suffered with sciatica, and thus far, still do. I have found my mental and physical health have suffered and after signing onto esa and going through the relevant medical assessments I've been deemed fit to work.

There's a reason why this is a ridiculous ruling, and that is that I suffer from anxiety due to my condition. I have got to the point where I don't leave my house unless it is necessary. I have found myself fixated with falling ill and I hate social situations because people generally don't understand my illness. Some days I limp from pain, others I sob.

This brings me to today, and I apologise if this blog doesn't make a lot of sense but I write it in a state of distress. I need to see a doctor. I need to get a medical certificate and send it back to the dwp. However I didn't sleep well last night and as a result I am bringing this to you from my bed. I've no idea what to do or where to turn. I feel a drain on those who love me and it pains me to say it but I wish I could disappear. It hurts to feel that way because I know I have people who love me. I need medication, I need one of my feet looking at, I need help. I am still waiting. Please someone help me.