Today has flown by, it was a day of going back to a solid routine with time limits to stick by. I'm not very good with those. This is mainly due to the fact that I need sleep, but also proper wake up time, to allow meds or on most days my brain to kick in so I can get by that day.

I finally also got to see my doctor today. I finally have something for my feet which should help the healing process. I also have enough painkillers to see me through for a short time. At least till all my money situation is sorted.

I've always tried to be independent but admittedly it's difficult when I'm desperately needing support or help. Filling in forms has begun to be a major problem for me, I get confused, unsure and I've even found myself paranoid since my ATOS assessment. I'm worried someone is following me. Watching me. Waiting to see if I start doing handstands at my front door. I can tell you now I won't. I haven't ever been able to truly pull off a handstand, and I stand little to no chance of doing it now.

 I still can't help but feel my space has been invaded. There is nothing more humiliating than asking if your prescriptions will still be free either. I feel like I'm scrounging. It's soul destroying. But I need my medications, and seeing as I have very little in the way of money, I had to at least ask. I can get them refunded, whether I do or not is yet to be seen. Not to save face, but because it's embarrassing. I shouldn't have to ask at all. But thanks to DWP, I have had to, and as such I am now worse off all round.

Tomorrow is another day though. I have sent off my appeal letter and a medical certificate from my gp. He is now refusing to give me anymore medication until I've been assessed by a mental health team because he feels it's going round in circles and not helping me at all. Which is a positive thing because it's what I've been telling them for months. So tomorrow I am going to attempt to clean my house, watch a movie and just dip into my "Kerri Cheer up care plan". It mostly involves films and cleaning and music. One day I shall share it with you. On a day when I have more spoons. :)